Cutting Corners

The sidewalks are all shoveled, but the corners are all variant piles of snow and slush and mud.

No one owns the corners, the periods of transition and change.

In the messy middle, each of us must find our own imperfect footing.

Missing/Late

One of my favorite artists, Tehching Hsieh, punched a time clock every hour on the hour for an entire year. He took a picture of himself each time, so sheets of timecards and sheets of photos serve as the work’s documentation.

Equally compelling is the relentless discipline and the handful of moments when he misses his deadline. You can see the late time punches, or the missing photo. He marks and includes them.

Usually I send these essays out at 7:00am Eastern Time on Friday. I realized this morning that I had totally missed my deadline.

Late is better than never.

Deadlines come and go, but the work stays.

What to Expect When You’re Least Expecting It

There can be so much lag time between putting something in motion and seeing it done. The returned message, the built project, the delivered good or the sense of peace. So much of it requires small investments in the here and now, followed immediately with a willingness to let go, release, and forget.

I turned down a block this week and thought I had made a mistake. I saw a building I had never seen before. A man came out of it. “Did they remove the scaffolding?” I asked. “Yeah, finally,” he replied.

A day that feels like it will never happen, finally comes.

New York’s Hottest Club

This place has everything:

• Copious amount of happy, well-paid staff

• Hooks under the bar

• Happy hour until 7pm

• Fries with 3 sauces

• Dim, warm lighting

• On a side street but near a major subway station

• A cheeky yet elegant name

• A cheeky yet elegant wife after whom the restaurant is named

• A one-sided one-sheet food menu

• A leather-bound cocktail menu

• Low music

• An environment in which cell phone use is not only gauche but universally condemned

• A table available

Act Now

Many companies will encourage you to buy now because the price is sure to go up later. “Think of the money you’re saving,” they’ll say as you spend it.

The only arena where this logic is fully honest is when it comes to time. If you don’t spend it right now, it’s a loss you can never recoup.

The New Year often brings with it the Same Challenges. But if you Act Now, just think of the time you’re saving.

Resource Center

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We hope you’re inspired to be empowered to take control of the direction of the resources for you. And remember, you can always send an email to NOREPLY@PeopleConnect4U.com. No one will answer you, but maybe just typing it out will help you identify what it is you really need.

What They Don’t Tell You About Getting Older

It’s actually reinforced quite often. People tell you that time moves like a roll of toilet paper, disappearing faster as you go. They tell you that your body starts to hurt in odd ways and then in painful ones, that it’s harder to get a job and that your face gets wrinkled and that your relationships change and that suddenly you don’t recognize the celebrities du jour.

They also tell you that you gain wisdom, that you stop concerning yourself so much with the opinions of others, that some financial stability goes a long way and that each milestone age is the new 30. They tell you that if you’ve chosen what and who you love, then there’s nothing better than looking back on a life well lived.

What they don’t tell you is that no matter how much you’re told, it all comes as quite a surprise. The wisdom gained is hard fought, the body aches appear suddenly, the relationships change in devastating ways and the looking back on one’s life is as much a reconstructive exercise as a reflective one.

Few things that matter make sense. The joy lies in the doing despite of, even if, and again.

Quality of Life Determinants

1. Ability to make your home warmer or cooler

2. How often you eat what you’d like to eat

3. Flawless plumbing

4. Fast wifi

5. Friends that will answer your call

Rearrange

The fantasy of starting a life anew overlooks the reality that we can really only build new lives with pieces of our old ones. With each move we bring all the things that made the previous home feel as such. Bruises and scratches and losses ensue. Days and weeks and months are spent rearranging the new place to feel something like the old, the same paint on a new canvas.

The real fantasy of transformation is one only realized subtly and slowly. It’s found in the gradual shifting of one’s orientation to the world, from one of defense to one of curiosity.

I have no idea if this is true. But as I write amongst all my earthly possessions strewn about, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Beginnings

Hugs

Well wishes

Small gifts

Short speeches

Last walks

Last looks

Goodbyes

Doors

Locks

The bumpy, bumpy road it takes to soar.

Air Traffic Control HR

Team,

As you know, we are closely monitoring the ongoing government shutdown and continue to be appreciative to all of you who continue to show up to work without pay. Rest assured that we remain hopeful that back pay will one day be issued - though, like anything in life, this is not promised.

For those of you who have not showed up for work, please continue to do so. We just got word that we need to cut some of our staffing numbers. Your chronic absence is actually a welcomed convenience in this instance.

Many of you may be wondering what lies ahead for the holiday season. I advise you to start now in embracing and promoting manufactured platitudes such as, “the holidays are really about being at peace in one’s own heart,” because no one is going to be able to travel anywhere to see anyone.

None of us ever planned to get into this career. In that sense we’re not unlike adult film stars or drag queens. The only difference now, of course, is that those guys are still working.

Happy holidays to all. I’ve be laid off until further notice.

Safe(?) travels,

Deb

How I Feel About Everything

A plan in advance is nice, but so are good surprises. Bad surprises are bad.

I like to know when someone is meaning what they’re saying. It’s okay when they’re not sure what they’re saying. It’s worse when they know what they’re saying but not saying it.

The morning is for business and the evening is for pleasure. The middle is dealer’s choice.

Thursday night is better than Friday night, though Friday night is very great. Certainly better than Saturday.

Feelings are like the weather and the ocean and sometimes they’re incredibly beautiful and give you reasons to gaze with hope toward the future and other times you wonder when their torment will end and how will you possibly recover.

Money is a very important element but becomes more abstract the more there is. Remembering the real impact of money is important.

Relationships are our only forever homes, and the most challenging and rewarding one of all is that which we cultivate with our self.

Bigger Fish

Yesterday I visited the Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum in Hayward, Wisconsin.

It’s main attraction is a giant fish statue the size of two or three school buses, one you can walk up into the mouth of much like the crown of Lady Liberty.

At the top I observed the humble but manicured grounds of the outdoor exhibit sprinkled with plaques and other larger-than-life lake fish. Beyond sat the weathered Hayward water tower, and to my right the still waters of the nearby river.

I had gone there by the recommendation of a friend and presumed the giant fish would be unmistakable from the road, but it really did blend in. The browns and reds and yellows and oranges of the trees hid the monstrosity. It almost looked decent.

The indoor exhibit included walls of fishermen holding giant fish of varying species. You could almost smell them.

It was a nice reminder of the legends among us.

Victor’s Secret

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show has struck yet again, proving that as long as a woman’s face and body are perfectly symmetrical representations of her particular demographic, she, too, is beautiful.

If one aspired to present a similar spectacle featuring men, I think it’d be most compelling to have the various sections be task-oriented. First, we would have incredibly hot men be asked questions about geopolitics (not the obvious ones, either). Questions like, “What’s going on right now in Syria?”

Next would be the guys of mid-tier hotness (think Junior Varsity captains turned middle managers) casually yet confidently approaching women at a bar.

Finally, we would have the uglies. These men would be tasked with conducting in-depth interviews with the Victoria’s Secret Angels, getting to the heart of their interests, aspirations, and true feelings about being so, so beautiful, and so, so silent.

Life Sentence

Life is a life sentence, not a because it’s a prison, but because it’s a thing you write.

Profession

What makes something professional is that it’s expensive, considered, and standardized. Such is the predicament of the professional artist, writer, singer, actor, or person that deeply hopes to make such activities their “job” when the act of doing them rarely, if ever, moves the needle of capital.

Yet the allure of a profession divorced from the need to produce, communicate, sell, and transport products at scale continues to endure.

A day spent writing the next chapter of one’s life, painting a representation of one’s interiority, singing one’s song in the shower and pretending to be anyone but one’s self seems not far off from a perfect day.

Professional work continues to move ships. But the days of not doing, of not professing anything at all, is what brings life to life.

Guided Rumination

First of all, thank yourself for showing up for yourself today.

We’ll do one big inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.

Now I want you to picture that person from work. Can you believe they’re still doing that thing?

Are they ever going to learn how to function in a workplace?

I mean, really, is it your job to teach them proper etiquette?

Is it even etiquette, or is it just basic human decency?

Did they even go to kindergarten?

I mean, you spend your whole life trying to do the right thing, not ruffle too many feathers, keep your head down and do your work, make pleasant conversation and have it go off without a hitch, remember major holidays and pick up a gift and get there on time and send the full information and have an outfit on and don’t make too much noise and speak confidently and listen closely and love fiercely and party hard and rest easy, and yet…

Some people will never learn.

But you will.

You do every day.

You are the mountain.

You are the morning and the evening star.

They’re the worst.

It sounds like you handled that perfectly.

Endings

They are so bad.

They are so good.

​Celebrities But Only First Names

Ralph hosted a show and I saw Catherine and Elizabeth there. Miley wasn’t able to come, though I did see Giselle and she seemed to be alright since everything went down with Tom. I think she’s with Brad now.

Anna finally showed up and then the show started, though I couldn’t take my eyes off of Allen across the way who was with some girl I didn’t recognize. SJ and Kristin said her name was Ashley but I am skeptical as I though she was already married to Evan, Diana’s son.

Donatella never showed up, but she sent flowers. Julia confirmed they were real. Jenna left quickly and I couldn’t get a word out of Stephanie about when she and Michael are finally going follow through with it. Anyhow, seeing Cynthia was fun.

The afterparty was the best part. I ran into John, Amanda, Rachel, Robert, Amy, Bob, Amber, Emily, and even Jane.

Cher, unfortunately, was nowhere to be found.

Nature

Nature never stays the same, even as we insist upon life maintaining consistency. So often we want the same temperature, the same food, the same movement as before, and yet with each moment of each day nature tells us, “no.”

There are measures we take to avoid the trouble. We create air conditioned boxes of comfort, fridges full of produce imported across seas, cashmere sweaters and swim trunks and running shoes and sunglasses. All of these accoutrements smooth out the edges of an unavoidably inhospitable world.

But beauty, so often, is created in those moments where the dynamism of nature is met in compliment with the fabrications of man: the boots that got you to the top of the mountain, the glass of ice water that cooled your throat on a warm day, the quiet warmth of a building lobby as you come inside from snow blowing sideways. Both need the other, and all of us need them all.