A Message from the Leadership Team

Dear Company Corp. Family,

It has come to our attention that several staff members left the office yesterday at approximately 3:00pm because the weather was so nice. Many were heard making comments such as, “Let’s get out of this hellhole,” “To hell with this place,” and “These people can go to hell.”

Let us be clear. We understand that yesterday New York City saw its first unquestionably pleasant day so far this year. We also acknowledge our unwavering commitment to our board and shareholders to deliver value each and every day.

As such, any of those who left early are invited to stay until 7:00pm on Friday to make up for their hours lost. We believe our culture of trust and mutual respect is sufficient to serve as the only verification tool for such service.

Lastly, we are particularly concerned about the emphasis on “hell” in many of the sunbathers’ statements. If that is how any of our team members feel about this place, we invite them to consider taking a walk outside, and staying there.

Happy Spring,

The Leadership Team

P.S. - Many thanks to Operations for the new tulips in the flower beds.