Away Game

Different house, different bed, different schedule, different food, different bathroom, different toothpaste, different wardrobe, different people, different weather, different feelings, different water, different coffee.

Same me (very nice).

Why You Deserve Everything You Want

We enter and leave this world innocent. All the guilt, shame, reservation and doubt in the middle is the gunk.

May we strive to live each day as if it were our first, not our last. Because all our life, the rest of our life is ahead of us.

California Living

I’m in California this week so I don’t have to write an essay.

The Big Trip

As everyone knows, today marks the beginning of The Big Trip. The last weekend in June before the 4th of July that so conveniently falls on a Friday. All of us saw this coming, many of us planned something, and all who did have finally come upon it in all its summer glory.

The plane, the boat, the road, the sun, the beach, the water, the sights and the sounds. All converge in a way both anticipated and unexpected, ordinary and magical, most of all because as the world continues moving unruly, somehow we still find moments where all is alright.

No work allowed, only vibes and high spirits. Hardest question to be: white or rosé?

House Rules

As a guest, the kindest thing you can do is leave.

As a life, the most beautiful thing you can do is die.

As a guest, you should try to stay as short as possible.

As a life, you should try to stay as long as possible.

Summer Break

Nothing compares to sweet summer. No school, no bells, no pencils and no worries. Days filled with gummy candy, nights started off with a cold beverage, early mornings kissed by sunlight and birdsong.

The whole year leads to this, and it is before this and after this by which the year is measured. September is the January in fashion, and June, July and August are the holy trinity in life. So much heat, so much change, so much swimming, so much rebirth.

I hope these hot days that turn into cool nights provide many an opportunity for crew neck sweatshirts and shorts. I hope the coffee stays strong and the winds light. And I hope I get to see you, sweet, sweet you, even if it is only as I smile at my own reflection in your mirrored sunnies.

Arranging a Meeting

Hello Brenda,

Thank you for connecting with me. It would be my pleasure to align our schedules and see what may work for us to have a phone call, or perhaps even Zoom, in the near future.

Might you have 30 minutes at any of the below times?

• Anytime on a Monday, which spells certain death

• A Tuesday two weeks from now, at an aspirationally early time you will certainly regret

• A Wednesday around noon time, ensuring the compounding malaise of midday and midweek will quell any chance of generative conversation

• A Thursday afternoon, because who really cares

• Anytime on a summer Friday. It will have to be a phone call, of course, and only if I happen to not be in the pool.

Already looking forward to it.

Best,

Dan

In Memory Of

This three day weekend is a beautiful reminder of all that has passed and all that’s to come. If you’re reading this, you are part of my boundless circle of love. I simply cannot wait to cheers with you soon, the beads of cold water dripping down our glasses, as the warmth of summer envelops and reminds us that it was all worth it, after all.

Manhattan Flower

This week’s essay isn’t an essay. It’s a song that was sent to me by my dear friend, Jessi. You can listen to it by searching, “Famous Flower of Manhattan” by The Avett Brothers. It’s helped me a lot these past few days.

The only thing I disagree with is the line, “It loves you not.” I think the flower does love you, you should just still let it be.

Thank you to all the flowers growing in all the cracks of all the pavement. Beauty is everywhere, reaching for the sun.

City of Dreams

New York, New York: the city so nice they named it twice. The concrete jungle, the big apple, the city that never sleeps. The center of trade, the capital of culture, the intersection of the world. What a privilege it is, to witness how deep and how high humans can go.

Take Me Out

The great thing about learning sports as a kid is that no one really expects you to do well. Sure, every parent hopes their child will pick up the fundamentals, but the general thesis is that teamwork and camaraderie are the real trophies to be won.

I stopped playing baseball as soon as the kids started pitching. Topsham Recreation Department started us off with tee ball; moved us up to coaches pitching; and, at far too young a threshold, gave the rock solid ball to children from the other team to hurl at us innocents.

That season, I did not hit the ball once. I only either struck out or took a walk. Thank God I was never actually hit by the ball, or if I was, that it didn’t traumatize me beyond repair. Though seeing Will Bouchard on the pitcher’s mound gearing up to throw something at you never quite leaves your mind.

I never imagined what would have happened if I stuck with baseball. Discovering new friends was unlikely, seeing as such a phenomenon was generally correlated with athletic prowess. I could have met another queer kid or aspiring writer, perhaps. But such a friend could only be found sulking in the corner of the dugout, an uninspiring if poetic scene.

I think I would have learned how to live with the fear. The kids would have become better at pitching, and statistically, at some point, I would have hit the ball.

But instead, I fled to running. No flying object. None but me.

Taking Up Time

Monday’s first all-female 11-minute celebrity cruise to outer space was the most captivatingly egregious event in recent history.

The six women were certainly making a statement, though the phallic rocket in which they laid only underscored the insidious irony of which they were embarrassingly unaware.

Amidst their selfies and singing, they claimed to be collecting data to bring back for the benefit of us all. If there is any insight to actually glean from this glorified infomercial, it is that we all only have so much time. During it, perhaps the best thing we could do for Earth is learn how to stay down to it.

Oxymorons That Don’t Actually Mean Anything

International Community

Corporate Citizen

Ethical Investing

Calculated Risk

Everyday Person

Real People

A Letter to Our Investors

April 4, 2025

Dear Investors,

You are surely aware that yesterday we saw the largest single-day stock market drop in five years. We here at ManFinCo are always thinking about how to assure you, our customers, that your investments are sound, particularly during what may sometimes seem to feel like somehow a somewhat unpredictable environment.

Firstly, we should emphasize that the stock market is not the economy. While the economy is about how real people experience money, the stock market is about you. While we all know the economy generally gets worse over time, we also know the stock market generally improves. We see yesterday as only a temporary wrinkle in that larger, long-term picture.

Still, world events and geopolitics are real factors with which we must contend. Rest assured that several members of our senior leadership team are working closely with administration officials at the highest level. We retain full confidence in the diligence and expertise of those selfless public servants.

Finally, a word about money. What is it, really? Have you ever see it in large quantities anywhere other than on a computer screen, or perhaps in a cash register? When we have less, we tend to value what we have even more. In that sense, we here at ManFinCo have never felt richer.

With gratitude,

Ted Manfinius

CEO & Chair, ManFinCo

Emojis

Texts to which it’s appropriate to reply, “ 👊🇺🇸🔥”

• “Landed at JFK!"

• “Got my tax return”

• “Voted today”

• “Bought a Ford F-150”

• “Punched a wall, ate at McDonalds, and feeling really good about myself today”

Texts to which it’s not appropriate to reply, “ 👊🇺🇸🔥”

• Anything in an unsecured group chat coordinating a military operation titled, “Houthi PC small group”

See You Then

To plan is to wish.

That people generally arrive at the place and time they intend is something of a small miracle.

The attempt to order life before it happens retains it potency because, actually, it works out quite often. The bus comes, the meeting kicks off, the food arrives, the show is live.

The slips and the delays and the mistakes and the hazards remind us of just how fragile it all can be. But still, the allure remains.

See you next Tuesday, see you next everyday.

On Hotels

The most important things are cleanliness and sound. It is not design, not layout, not amenities nor even the disposition of the thankless employees. It’s ideal is that of a quiet third space that pantomimes as your home in a place that is decidedly not your home. It is a passing gesture of comfort, safety, stability, and calm.

One is not entitled to aesthetics or even pleasantries. That the experience be pleasing is a bar too high, but that it be adequate is a small miracle.

Our time on this earth is temporary. Our hotel stays are even more so. That they come and go without memory of their dereliction or excess is a precious gift.

Summer Dreaming

On Wednesday I walked outside in Wisconsin against snow blowing sideways. My sneakers turned wet and my ears stung from the cold.

March is always down payment for July. Those long, warm days seem far away, but still the carrot dangles.

March is too long and April too busy. May is the hostess standing on summer’s doorstep, welcoming you from these dreary days, inviting you to please, come in, come in.

Storage Full

The state of my computer is not unlike the state of the world, with notifications and sounds and pop-ups constantly reminding me that my storage is running low and that I should free up space if I want to continue.

It’s consistently easier to dismiss those messages and kick the can down the road, even as basic tasks start to feel like turning tires through thick mud.

The expense of a new computer and my own stubbornness keeps me in this arduous dance, continuing to ignore and accommodate and adjust. My only viable recourse, any of ours, is to continue on through the noise.

DOGEE

If I was so unlucky as to be president, and even more burdened by the aspiration to establish a new government entity, I would create the Department of General Etiquette Enforcement (or DOGEE, pronounced “doggy”).

Its mission and brand would be one: “We’re trying to have a society here.”

No more turning quickly around blind corners.

No more questionable behaviors on planes or any form of public transit.

No more showing up to another’s home empty handed.

No more not apologizing when clearly in the wrong.

No more sharing one’s honest feelings if such honest feelings are inappropriate.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How could one office have the capacity to regulate such pervasive and insidious behavior? Shouldn’t these matters be left to the realm of culture? What exactly qualifies as inappropriate conduct?

DOGEE would stand ready to make snap judgements regarding all these concerns, on a case-by-case, rolling basis. At long last, all would be well.