I Know

Calling these "essays" is generous. But I am all about generosity.

Cardboard

Cardboard can be recycled, which is kind of remarkable because it's paper that already has been. It's kind of like everything. Newness is always possible, out of the same old stuff.

Announcement

May this serve as notification that everything is pretty much the same with me.

North Star

     The biggest difference between right and wrong is that right feels like one thing and wrong feels like another.

Merry Happy

To all.

Remounting

     If you were doing a good job for a long time, and then you falter, that’s okay. Getting back on the horse is more important than falling off. And there’s nothing like a new year to make you consider the stable.

Resolve

re·solve

/rəˈzälv/

verb

1. settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).2. decide firmly on a course of action.

How satisfying, right?

The Process

     So many things take so much time. And the parts that you think will take the longest don’t always, and all that stuff at the end always takes longer than you think. And the number of times you’ve thought about it versus actually doing it is so insane. And sometimes people check up on it but mostly it’s just you and it. And what it is at the end is, of course, never as you pictured it at the beginning. And that brings up all these new questions about why you started it in the first place. And then at some point it’s over, and you’re back to yourself, and then something else comes up that makes you say, “I think I want to do that.”

Priorities

Something done at the last minute is still done.

Dark Ages

     Chilly days feel abbreviated with sunsets in the afternoon. Summer brings drinks with lots of ice, while winter brings blankets and lamps. But I always forget that the darkest day happens in just late December, when all is merry and bright. And then begins the slow crawl, to more light, a new year, and hope makes a steady comeback.

Halloween

One night per year when everyone is handed a big 'ol permission slip, and you see the inside come out.

Haircut

     Getting your hair cut by the same person is a nice thing. But it’s not always the best thing, and it’s certainly not the only way. Trying a new person takes courage. But why not?

Healthy Debate

     A presidential debate is a curious performance practice found somewhere between monologue, book report, horse race, job interview, bad date, and pageant. The result is a flax seed smoothie I consume only once every few months, wincing with the self-assurance that it must be good for me. If politics really is theater for ugly people, I just wish there was better acting.

Running

     Every time I run I feel proud of myself for getting out there. But then I get discouraged when I feel the onset of fatigue. But if I run long enough, I rise above it, like a plane ascending through the clouds. Then I can cruise, on autopilot, and land somewhere new.

Production Crew

     There’s a lot that can being going on at one time, but it’s important to be aware of the things that aren’t changing. Behind the scenes of life is a production crew that lives between one’s own ears. A good crew means a show can rotate actors, rotate stages, rotate showtimes, and rotate stories. Your crew is with you for life. And if they're good, you’re good.

AM

     Mornings offer something no other time can. They are the most subtle of rebirthings, a gentle hint that, hey, maybe this thing will be a little different. Discovery is still possible.

     Nothing reveals this like waking up in a new place, a reminder of the potential that comes with marination in a new womb. I prefer my home, but away is nice too. Being born is a good thing, even in the smallest of ways.

First A, Then B

And finally, C.

Being Late

Being late to most things is a bad thing, but with some things, it will all be ok.

Self-Care

     Self-care is a curious concept, as it suggests that the failure to attend to our inner lives has become so pervasive that only concerted efforts of yoga, face masks, and alone time can allow us to meet ourselves again. A uniquely modern phenomenon, self-care is the ironic product of unprecedented convenience. Between air conditioning, fruit all year round, delivery services, and an endless stream of media, there has never been a time to live so comfortably. And there has never been a time of such internal abandonment, and such a need to stop and say, “Wait, what’s still here if there’s nothing?"

The Best Words Ever

     You’re totally right.